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Top 5 Relationship Rules for New Couples.

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So I'll start off with telling you guys that I got married a year back, on 1st of November 2019, just before the whole world got quiet stuck in the pandemic, thankfully we were able to do our honeymoon and enjoy three or four months out in the open before the lockdown happened in Pakistan.

A whole year has passed, and honestly also for obvious reasons this has been different from the rest previous years of my life, I mean yes! there is this ongoing pandemic, then a whole other challenging situation of settling in a new home with around 9 other people.

I got married in a joint-family system, so there are around 9 people excluding me, with whom I had to adjust. And its all going fine Alhamdulillah, not the regular saas-bahu types susraal. A big ALHAMDULILAH for that :D

But I have realized in this one year of marriage that to have a healthy married life one should adopt these Five Rules  so as to avoid as many misunderstandings and confusions in the first year of marriage as possible, I mean everyone's experiences and personalities are different and I believe that one rule of thumb is not going to work out for everyone, but these general (very realistic!) advices will surely help you out in keeping your calm and acting with kindness towards each other. 

Here are the five rules mentioned below, have a look!

  1. Say It!-Communicate:   I know this rule is like the most cliché rule of all times and everyone has read and applied it in their lives but it actually is "The Golden Rule". Your partner is not going to understand what's bothering you or what kind of food you want to order online? or what confusions you have in your mind while going through the changes in adjusting in a new environment, lets just say it is easier for men than it is for women. because we leave our whole lives and our parents behind to start a new life, and in most of the cases in Pakistan and countries like Pakistan, a woman has to adjust in  joint-family system. So double the hard work. Communicating everything which is going in your heart and your mind will clear away many misunderstandings which take roots in the first year of marriage. Say it all i would say, anything and everything because as long as as you are communicating your partner will get to know what you are feeling and thinking and then both of you can find a solution, rather than keeping it up all inside, say it and you don't have to sound mean or rude, just talk freely with your partner. This rule will open many doors and will help in eliminating the shyness and awkwardness one has in the first year of marriage specially if it's arrange.
  2. Be Open:   Being open is far easier when you have had a love marriage, but its kind of difficult and at times embarrassing when it's an arranged marriage. Speaking from my experience, during my engagement period I made sure along with the help of my Fiancé, to be more open about ourselves. our likes and dislikes, our goals, our experiences, our dreams, our realities basically everything. It helped in understanding each other's personalities, and after getting married it eventually helped me in speaking my mind out in front of my husband without feeling awkward of having the fear of judgement over what I was saying. So give enough space to each other and a positive room to be more open. which brings me to the 3rd rule.
  3. Give Space to Each other:  Giving space to another human who is living with you in the same room and sharing his/her life with you, is sometimes tricky. Specially when of the partner is introvert, and the other is extrovert. Giving space to each other is not only important physically but mentally as well. It helps in keeping the relationship on a positive tangent. As an individual everyone is entitled to their space, and by space I mean some part of the day or sometimes not being together clears our minds, to have a separate life apart from the marriage, to enjoy doing things together as well as individually, to have a corner of your own where you can relax alone. 
  4. Respect:   To give respect to your spouse is utmost important. It is important whether its your spouse or anyone else. There is an old saying that you give respect, you get respect and its true. Without respecting each other, you can't have a meaningful relationship. Be respectful in your conversations, in your actions. Respect each other's space, time, value in each other's life, efforts, love, care. 
  5. Kindness and Forgiveness:  Be empathetic towards each other, both of you are humans and hence bound to make mistakes, have a big heart and let go of issues that wont matter after a few days, obviously I'm not saying that you should ignore the red flags! but I mean have a balance. Be kind in dealing with your spouses, understand their psyche, their personality, give them room to make mistakes and learn from them as a couple. Forgive each other but make sure that you are solving the issues and not brushing it under the carpet. Be kind and love each other because that's what matters.

I hope I made my point clear with these rules mentioned above, hope you enjoyed reading this blog. Until next time bye! :)

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